Being a Big Deal Isn’t Such a Big Deal

When I talk to my family, friends, colleagues or community and ask them how they’re doing, usually they respond with some variation on being too busy, tired and in need of a vacation. This is because we have been trained to run as hard as possible to stay competitive. For many of us, we live our lives online which exacerbates this because of the never ending firehouse of information and feeling that we need to keep up. We’re taught to focus on achieving our next accomplishment. We’re taught to never be satisfied and to just keep going.

When you step back though, you realize that being a big deal (however that is defined for you) might not be such a big deal. Is becoming the top expert in your industry worth it if you end up divorced because of it? Is being a Twitter celebrity as cool as it seems if you lose your day job because you spend so much time on Twitter? How about if you end up in the hospital because you haven’t focused on your health while pursuing becoming a big deal?

In this incredibly powerful TEDx speech, Scott Stratten uses personal life experiences to explore this in-depth. This is a “must-watch” speech and one that I have shared with anyone that will listen.

What are your thoughts?  How do you create a balance in your life?

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What Drives You?

I have a simple question for you: What drives you?

steeringwheel

That’s not a new question, right?  You hear it asked often but have you ever taken time to actually analyze where your drive comes from and why?  Sure, you may be doing the advanced work, but there are always underlying factors that drive us.  It could be achieving success, not wanting to disappoint our family, competitiveness, a need to provide for someone else, or a number of other factors.  You may jump in now and say that it’s a combination of all of those factors.  That’s ok, as long as you have taken the time to truly understand if those are the factors that drive you.

For me, my drive comes from a few different areas however the main source is the need to ensure that I never disappoint my parents.  When I was 17 both of my parents passed away 5 months from one another.  My dad passed away from cancer in October 1999 and my mom passed away from a Lupus-induced heart attack in March 2000.  While the passing of my dad was a shock, we had been dealing with my mother’s illness for most of my life.  It wasn’t a terminal diagnosis but she had an extreme and aggressive form of Lupus that had beaten her up over several years.  My mom had always told me that no matter what happened in life, she would always look over my shoulder.  After my mom passed away I got a tattoo of a blue rose (her favorite flower) with angel wings and her death date on my upper back/shoulder area to ensure that she would always be looking over my shoulder.

Having both of my parents pass away before graduating high school instilled a great fear of disappointing them and it caused me to make a pact with myself that I would never stop.  Never stop what, you might ask?  Never stop anything that I put my mind to no matter how far out of reach it may appear.  Never stop persuing my goals.  Never stop until I could provide the life for my future family that my parents never could (read: I grew up very poor, on food stamps and supplemental help).

Couple this pact that I made along with an unnatural level of competitiveness and being a perfectionist, you’ll start to get a glimpse into what drives me.  It’s not as simple as wanting to be the best or being rich.  A perfect storm of life experiences collided at a young age for me that forced me to take a different perspective on the world in front of me and how I’m going to conquer it.

So, I return to the question I asked at the start of this post: What drives you?

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Photo Credit: Team Dalog

Doing the Advanced Work

It’s a natural feeling to want to be successful in life.  We constantly set goals, both short and long term, that hopefully lead to success.  Sometimes they’re short, quick wins and other times they are long term goals that lead to success such as saving for retirement.  Time and time again I hear people call others “lucky” or “fortunate” when they achieve success.  Is it really simply a matter of luck that leads to success?  I don’t think so.  Sure, I’ll agree that in almost any victory, a little bit of luck helps.  We all deal with small fires or bumps while achieving our goals.  We all have someone that mentors us, watches over us or gives helps to crack open the door.  What you do with that opportunity is up to each of us.  But, if you just sit back and wait for that door to be opened then you may never reach your goals.  So, what can you do to help achieve your goals, both short and long term achievements?  I’d argue it’s all in the advanced work.  It’s in the preparation and practice that you do leading up to achieving your goal.

In sports there are athletes who people, including me, think were born to play their given sport.  Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, Tiger Woods, Wayne Gretzky, Serena and Venus Williams.  All examples of people who are extremely gifted athletes.  You could probably come up with another 10 athletes in your favorite sport(s) to list here as well that are amazing at the game they play.  While these athletes may be gifted, it is not simply that they were born to play the sport.  Their excellence is the result of years and years of doing the advanced work.  They spend their lives preparing for greatness.  We’ve all heard the stories of shooting hundreds of foul shots before a game; putting for hours on end; running wind sprints with parachutes attached until reaching pure exhaustion; and swimming hundreds of laps per day.  In this world, improving by just a mili-second can be the difference between reaching the holy grail in their sport.

Doing advanced work isn’t only for sports.  Musicians who are getting ready to go out on tour will practice their concerts for weeks and sometimes months before going out on the road.  Actors practice for hours at a time for what amount sometimes to only a few minutes of screen time.  For an event like the Inbound Marketing Summit, we spend almost an entire year planning every angle of the event to ensure a successful event for our attendees, speakers, sponsors, venue, and our team.

This leads me to consistently ask myself what I am doing to ensure future success.  Do you ask yourself this same question?  If so, you must define what success actually is ahead of time so that you can measure against it.  It’s hard to do advanced work for something you can’t measure.  Sometimes those goals change and that’s ok.  Change your success metrics and the advanced work to achieve those metrics.

A great example of doing advanced work is in planning a presidential event.  President Obama attends and speaks at several events every week, sometimes having 2-3+ events in a single day.  Each one of these requires weeks of preparation including security plans, emergency route planning, media plans, travel and scheduling and a number of other considerations.  Every second of President Obama’s movement is scheduled and planned ahead of time.  This planning isn’t done solely because of the President’s busy schedule, it is also to ensure a successful and safe event for all involved.  During one of President Obama’s visits, the White House Presidential Advance team filmed a couple behind-the-scenes videos as they prepared for an event.

If you can’t view these videos, you can check them out over on the White House’s YouTube channel.

What advanced work are you doing to prepare for your future success?

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Sleep is Forbidden

One of the things I get asked the most is whether or not I actually sleep.  Due to the amount I try to interact on various platforms, this blog and Prime Cuts as well as my responsibilities to New Marketing Labs, my steakhouse, and a host of other projects I’m involved in, the short answer is: no I don’t sleep.

Instead of looking at it in terms of getting enough sleep, I look at it in the same way that Diddy does: Sleep is forbidden.  Diddy is known for hustling and in turn, not getting enough sleep.  He is known for telling his team that “sleep is forbidden” and it has been a quote that resonated with me since first hearing it.  If you go to Diddy and tell him that you’re tired, you know what he tells you? “What rhymes with ‘tired’…’fired’?  Don’t believe me?  Check out this quick video:

You see, I’m not someone that actually requires that much sleep.  On an average day I’ll get 3-4 hours of sleep, usually heading to bed around 3a and getting up at 6a or so every day.

Some have wondered if this actually lowers my productivity.  I’ve studied my levels of productivity based on different sleeping patterns and length of sleep.  I am most productive at around 4 hours of sleep.  I start to tweak out a little under 3 hours (which occurs often) and feel groggy at anything greater than 5 hours.  This, of course, hasn’t been this way for my entire life.  When I was younger I loved to sleep as much as possible.  But, for the past 8-9 years I have maintained a sleep schedule of an average of 3-5 hours of sleep per night.

Why do I not sleep a lot? It’s because I have certain goals that I’m trying to accomplish.  In order to reach these goals I must stay focused and capitalize on all of the little wins that come along.

My mind races with finding ways to interact more with all of the great people I have the opportunity to meet.  I spend countless hours thinking of new projects, what’s next, and trying to chase my goals.  I don’t think of my life in terms of work and play, personal and professional, home and the office.  Everything blends together for me and that’s how I prefer it.  Therefore, I don’t get upset that I work 90-100 hours per week.  I’m having fun; I’m running hard towards my goals; and along the way, I’m trying to be as helpful and engaging as possible.

This might sound eerily familar especially if you follow Chris Brogan.  That’s because it is.  That’s not by mistake either.  Over at New Marketing Labs we have some big goals in front of us and we’re putting everything we have into our company.  That means that Chris and I regularly are discussing clients, new ideas, how to make the Inbound Marketing Summit or Inbound Marketing Bootcamps better, or a number of other things in the middle of the night.  Even this morning, on a holiday weekend, while Chris is taking his first vacation in years, we were discussing some new ideas over DM on Twitter.  It even brought about this tweet from me that garnered a few chuckles:

forbiddensleep

Some of my friends and colleagues worry that I’m going to burn out.  Don’t worry, I won’t.  I can’t.  Not until my goals are reached.  When I hit those goals, I’ll set new ones and continue this cycle.  Because of that, sleep is forbidden.

I hope that you continue to join me on this adventure…

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Finding Motivation from the White House

Being that I don’t have cable at home I tend not to know what news specials are on, what new movies or coming out or pretty much anything else that I can’t watch on Fancast (client) or catch up on with Google News or CNN.  So, earlier this weekend I came across a news special that NBC put together entitled “Inside the Obama White House”  The site has a total of 15 videos which take you behind the scenes of the White House.

Being someone who loves any behind-the-scenes look, as well as someone who is fascinated with the inner workings of Washington, I eagerly watched all of the videos.  Brian Williams does an excellent job at balancing the personal and professional side of the White House including President Obama, his family and the many hard working individuals who work at the White House on a daily basis.

One of the major takeaways from watching the videos was how hard working everyone is from the President down to his staffers.  It is by watching videos like these that I find some of my inner motivation and drive.  While I’m debating whether to type another blog post or get an extra hour of sleep, there are individuals, many of them right around my age, that are working late, staying up working on policy issues such as the economy, going over security plans for the movement of our President, formulating responses and plans of action for ongoing international crises or a host of other issues that comes with running our country.  If these individuals can stay up  a little while longer to work on those responsibilities, I can definitely spend more time working on my projects.

If you want to see a little bit about what I’m talking about, check out these 2 videos to see what a day in the life of the White House is really like:

If you’d like to catch the rest of the videos, you can find them all here: NBC Presents Inside the Obama White House.

You can also follow the NBC crew on Twitter and Facebook….

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